Openheartedness is key to supporting and listening to others and whilst we understand it’s important to do that, many people struggle to cut themselves the same slack. I would guess that 90% of the people I work and play with would be kinder to me, their team or a stranger that makes a mistake, is not prepared, or resists change, yet very hard on themselves for that. Why would you do that? Notice your internal answer and see if there’s a “should” in it…e.g. I should know better, try harder, blah blah blah.
I had a group call with a business coach this week who is a part-native American tracker, Michael Trotta, and he suggested we stop shoulding on ourselves. He said it distracts the spirit to focusing on it. It made me laugh, at myself.
Michael says any time you focus on the alternate reality of what we could, should or want to happen instead of actually doing or being it, it erodes your momentum and energy, and sometimes your self-worth. It is not useful. You are not an idiot for making a mistake (even if you’ve made it twenty times – you’re just now in a habit!) There’s not always a need to place blame. Stuff happens, be openhearted about it. As another favourite crisis manager of mine says, nobody is going to die today over this so let’s deal with real. That’s all we “should” do.
See more about Michael here: www.sagefireinstitute.com